The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies


I know, this review is late- sorry! Also, it goes without saying, but there are spoilers. Images are from the Hobbit Facebook page.

I feel like there isn’t much to say because, well, it’s basically one big battle. As the title reflects. But here are some thoughts. Before I get started, let me just get out of the way what I didn’t like about this movie and about the Hobbit trilogy in general.

• It’s too long and drawn out. It just feels…”stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread” (Bilbo in FotR).
• The Fili-Tauriel-Legolas love triangle. So ridiculous. And the tension between Legolas and his father Thranduil because the latter doesn’t approve of her. Legolas leaves in the end because of this.
• The title. It was supposed to be called There And Back Again (which would’ve been much better) but with the move to a trilogy, the title was changed to the current one. It made a huge deal of something that took a few pages in the book and sounded like any cheesy action flick.

And I was pretty annoyed that the killing of Smaug was over in like 5 minutes. Bard was such a hero and that part was so spectacular.

20150422-214153.jpg And then- whoop, it was done. That said, this movie was a satisfying ending to the Hobbit trilogy. The focus moves from killing the dragon and taking the mountain to international relations 😛 The Elves have heard of the turn of events and come bringing relief for the people of Dale (which is really decent of them, seeing as how Thorin’s company didn’t even offer after inadvertently unleashing the dragon on the town); they also wouldn’t mind some of the treasure that’s just been freed up. Dale’s mayor and Bard, leaders of the townsfolk, agree to seek some help from Thorin’s company in the Lonely Mountain, as they’ve suffered the brunt of the dragon the company stirred up, and were also responsible for killing it. These both are reasonable requests. 20150421-230751.jpg But Thorin is so full of himself, proud, greedy, struck by gold lust, and absorbed with finding the Arkenstone and being the king that he rejects all attempts to talk. 20150421-230643.jpg He ends up sending for reinforcements and his cousin Dain comes with a Dwarf army. Talk about a mess caused by selfishness and bad communication. Tensions abound. 20150422-210921.jpg20150422-210930.jpg20150422-211617.jpg The White Council also makes an appearance as they go to rescue Gandalf and come upon the Necromancer in Dol Guldor. Elrond, Saruman and Galadriel get some epic fight scenes in. But they made Galadriel use the “dark” mode that was used in “Fellowship” to indicate how she’d become with the power of the Ring. That was weird as she had a strong, good power that she would’ve used to cast down dark powers; she wouldn’t have gone “dark.” There was a great line used by Galadriel in the White Council parts—

“I am not alone.”

While the evil feels confident against just one of the Council, Elrond and Saruman appear, showing that evil flees in the face of united goodness.

Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

20150421-230541.jpg 20150421-230549.jpg So, battle lines are being drawn between the Elves and Men on one side, and the Dwarves on the other. Bilbo tries to smooth things over by giving the Arkenstone to the Men for them to bargain with, as he knows Thorin really wants it. He totally loses Thorin’s friendship over this. He is courageous and commendable, for all he wants to do is make peace.

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. -Romans 12:18

20150421-230849.jpg Ultimately, Thorin’s cousin Dain arrives with a mass of Dwarves ready for battle intent on “liberating” Thorin’s company from the Lonely Mountain where the Elves and Men have “besieged” them, and a battle appears imminent. Gandalf arrives just in time to refocus them onto the real threat, Azog and Bolg’s huge Orc army arriving just then. So, finally the Elves, Dwarves and Men join forces to defeat the real enemy. There were quite a few heroic scenes as the Dwarves rally behind Thorin, their rightful King. 20150422-210248.jpg Thus, the battle that comprises most of the movie. It was filled with unrealistic but cool stuff, like Legolas jumping UP falling rocks like stairs. The killing of Fili and Kili was definitely not done in the best way either. They fell defending Thorin in the book, so I was expecting a heroic stand, but was quite disappointed. Fili being ambushed was really sad, and worked in the movie story, but Kili’s dying in defense of Tauriel was ridiculous and took the focus off the family bond among Thorin and his nephews. 20150422-212856.jpg But everyone good had a hard time against their foes. Bolg fights Legolas and Thorin and Kili and Tauriel and still is ok. Thorin is killed because of a stupid mistake in not making sure Azog was dead. But it was nice that the book was followed in Bilbo getting knocked out on a rock, and the Eagles saving the day. 🙂 20150422-212549.jpg20150422-212822.jpg So it was sad because three members of the Company were lost. But Thorin and Bilbo part friends. Then Bilbo returns to his home in the Shire only to find his house a mess and his belongings being auctioned off as everyone thinks he’s perished. So it’s not as neat an ending as Return of the King, but it works. The messy houses fades into the scene in the beginning of Fellowship, as Bilbo is making party preparations and Gandalf comes to visit. And totally made me want to watch the LOTR saga again 😀

So though it wasn’t the best Middle Earth movie or even the best of the Hobbit trilogy, this was a nice ending to the Hobbit movie trilogy. And the ending song was just perfect. So sad 😥

And to finish things off, here’s a cool wallpaper generator: http://wallpapergenerator.thehobbit.com

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Random Thoughts #11: Combos, stories, & opinions


So when is the Hobbit 3 trailer coming??

Some granola bars are actually better half-melted and smooshed.

5-year-old’s advice to her sister during dinner: “This doesn’t taste good. So don’t eat it.”

I had these “peanut puffs” that just tasted like peanut-butter flavored Cheetos. They didn’t taste any better than they sound.

So, I watched Monsters U and Monsters, Inc. in that order. I don’t see why Inc is said to be so much better than U. I think it’s the other way around. U has nice characters and lessons. Mike’s determination and Sully’s change from a spoiled brat are great concepts, especially coming from Disney. But Inc is just a cutesy story about the little girl and Sully while Mike is off chasing a girl. So yeah, I like U better than Inc. Am I the only one?

At work, the smell of grilling onions and burgers was wafting from the neighboring apartments. All day. C’mon guys, don’t torture us like this…

Wait, so, are “Klingons” bad?

Someone else used to have the phone number I now have, and people keep calling for the previous owner(s?). Once I got a message, presumably from the previous number-owner’s boss asking if he could sub at work. Today I got someone leaving a message in Spanish for “Luis” and saying it was “muy importante” 😕 Well I wish I could help…

Beef jerky and potato chips: the dinner of champions. Or road trippers. Or both. (No, really, I love the stuff 8) )

I’m a reader. So, when a little 1st grade girl was trying to read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I thought it was so cute. Girl after my heart 🙂

Ahhhh my favorite TV series is breaking for the summer! 😦

“If you crush up bone you can make bone smoothies.” -kindergarten boy. Weeeeeell, yeah, technically. But I don’t know about you, but that’s not the first thing I think of to put in a smoothie. Though I do have a sister who used to gnaw on chicken bones.

Hey! Get some raw chicken breast, potatoes, and carrots. Dice it all up. Wrap it up in a foil pouch with some barbecue sauce or ranch. Then stick it in the hot coals of a campfire till cooked through. Then eat. Best. Thing. Ever.

Wonder what we’re having for dinner. It should involve potatoes. Or cheese. Or both.

Some American kids don’t call PB&Js PB&Js.

Speaking of combos, mercy and truth is an awesome one.

“All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep His covenant and His testimonies.”
~Psalm 25:10

“Justice and judgment are the habitation of Thy throne: mercy and truth shall go before Thy face.”
~Psalm 89:14

“Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.”
~Proverbs 3:3-4

Random Thoughts #3: LOTR, football, & electronics


Denver Bronco kicker Matt Prater set an NFL record for longest field goal on Sunday (64 yards)!!! 😮 😎 I’m pretty happy about the Denver Broncos’ football season this year 😀

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😆
Actually, we still use cassettes on a regular basis. We’d even be using our record player today if we hadn’t had to leave it behind on our move due to lack of space.

I really wish Aragorn and Arwen were in the Hobbit trilogy. Hey, Legolas and Elrond are in—it would make sense. A young, fiery Aragorn, before he got tempered by experience… Also it depends on how much “prelude to the Fellowship” stuff they do, but Aragorn plays a huge part there, catching Gollum and all.

http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugged-in/los-angeles-students-ipads-classroom-play-video-games-173850244.html Oh, California 🙄

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face: just don’t turn away.

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching, as if I’m not enough?
To where will you go, child?
Tell me, where will you run?

I’ll be by your side, wherever you fall
In the dead of night, whenever you call
So please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
‘Cause My hands are holding you.

—”By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North

Had “potatoes au gratin” for the first time the other day. My sister is an amazing cook 🙂

You know what wins football games? “Faster legs and stronger arms.” *nod* Never knew my little brother was so insightful on sports 😆

So, I can read and listen to Narnia soundtracks at the same time with no problem. But I can’t do that with Lord of the Rings music – it’s too distracting cuz I keep getting carried away by whatever part of the story the music’s at 😕

Had California Pizza Kitchen the other night…lots of $ for a small gourmet pizza…but a nice treat 🙂

You know you spend too much time studying on your iPad when you’re reading a regular, plain old book made of paper, come across an unfamiliar word, and go to tap-hold it for a definition 🙄

Oh, and shampoo makes an admirable replacement for hand soap in a pinch.

Christmas shopping… 😉

Amazon is thinking of using drones to deliver packages.

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Overheard someone say, “Come on, let’s go see The Hobbit.” Best suggestion I’ve heard in a while 😉 Yep, we’re saving to take the family to see it.

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